Forces Flattening Earth Stronger than Creative Innovation?

Been reading The World is Flat (finally) and discovered a trend and dilemma  facing 21st-century enterprises that depend on outsourced resources (which is almost all of them) that do not have the strength or position to push real innovation through the massive tide of status quo adopted and mastered by the global skill providers. One cynical conclusion is that these influences will drive global mediocrity instead of freeing those replaced by outsourced resources to create things that will actually be adopted. Here’s an example:

Software companies originally staffed by many expensive western programmers innovate applications that change the industry. At the time the preferred language of the software is Java. The tide of globalization hits and the western programmers are effectively replaced by cheaper resources from Brazil, India, Poland, Africa and elsewhere who have been educated in Java. These companies enjoy updates and maintenance code from their cost-effective resources and the ‘freed’ western programmers move on to create and innovate new solutions. One or more solutions they come up with use non-Java languages or technologies (Python, Lua, C++, C#, etc.) The excited programmers pitch their innovation to the business but the business rejects the innovation because it uses languages that cannot be outsourced as cheaply. “Go and come up with a way to make it work with Java,” they say not understanding the core of the innovation is based on efficiencies only possible in a non-Java language. “That’s just not possible,” they respond. The business isn’t willing quite that much to innovate if it is going to cost them even if the long term market-share and company life depends on such innovations. Innovation dies with the enthusiasm of it’s creators who move on to work for smaller companies that move faster than their outsourced dependent former companies allow. These smaller companies can pay to innovate because they are not tied to the overhead costs of the bigger outsource-addicted companies. Ironically, the bigger companies buy up the little innovators thinking the innovation will seed changes in their stale company, which instead kills off the innovation forcing more and more small company start-ups. The cycle continues and global innovation dies.

This dilemma isn’t just a technical/programmer issue. Any work process that is sufficiently generic enough to outsource in such a way runs the same risk of becoming so codified and supported by the outsourcing resources that making improvements become too problematic/costly to consider, at least for the bigger companies dependent on outsourcing for cost-savings v.s. other competitive financial strategies.

We can’t just pay teachers based on student performance.

My father-in-law, who’s been in the school system for three years and 20+ before that in local politics in the Sheriff’s office really set me straight about paying teachers just for performance. I think I might have sent the wrong impression earlier today when I naively tweeted:

NPR this morning: Charlotte-Mecklenburg school teachers to be paid on performance rather than seniority and credentials. Shouldn’t we all?

I apologize. I was just asking a question. I think some might have attributed sarcasm into it. Rereading it now I see how some think I’m just agreeing without understanding. I was really wanting to know. I think I know a little more now, which, of course, I have to pass on to help others from being duped into thinking it is that simple.

Here’s the deal, most of the working world is paid to some degree based on performance, even when you have no direct control over those whose performance determines your performance. This is why I so respect the challenge managers and anyone, frankly, with responsibility over the performance of others including teachers.

Teachers have it worse than all of them. They have far more students than the average manager has employees to manage, get paid less than half what a manager does, and have less control and ways to provide motivation, plus students are young, often disrespectful and rude, far more than the average employee, I’d generalize.

Another real danger that I fear in paying just for performance is having real issues swept over as they are pushed through the system for the sake of performance, “See he’s doing great,” even though he still can’t write his name legibly or whatever.

Then there is the matter of measuring performance. I sucked at tests, but managed well. The assessment tools may be all there is, but they will always be imperfect measures of true workplace performance.

So is the answer to only pay teachers based on their seniority and credentials? Well if you had to pick one, yes I suppose.  I see now why paying teachers for seniority and credentials does right by them more than for the performance of their students given the hopeless restrictions and broken system the teachers are forced to work with and the unconcerned parents they often have to deal with.

However, just paying teachers to show up and paying those that show up the longest and spend the most time learning things and getting degrees rather than actually teaching kids is also a danger, less of a danger I realize because the more I meet teachers the more I realize most of them are doing far more than that. In fact, the reverse problem is true, good teachers burn out. Still, there have to be a few that lose focus, like the one or two professors I knew that hated and tolerated students who got in the way of their research. But clearly they are much more the exception than the rule–especially in the k-12 crowd.

The best solution seems, to this naive parent, to be something in between though I have no idea what it would look like. I realize I have no business poking my big nose into how teachers are paid, or anyone else for that matter. I was just commenting on something that seems to make sense, and therein lies the worst part of it all. A newly elected official in the school district is saying something that many, like me, will see as being common sense when there is so much more involved. I stand corrected. Thanks for your patience.

Book Review: The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell

At one of the most conservative universities on the planet, Brigham Young University, I was first introduced to Joseph Campbell through a wonderful (and in hindsight, courageous) pair of Honors History instructors that elected to teach history of the world through the cultures and myths of their traditions. It was by far the best class I took while there. I just completed another read of this work and, although the structure is conversational and disjointed in places, was reminded how dramatically Joseph Campbell’s work saved my life and faith from my own mind’s attacks of reason and irrational rationalism. No, I do not accept everything taught by my chosen faith, just as I find aspects of science and other traditions equally difficult to accept. Campbell’s research shows how deeply important to our own mind, heart, and world these deep seated traditions are, and what just might be wrong with dogma and societal interpretations of once pure ideas adapted for less than altruistic intentions. Understanding Campbell allows me to quietly synthesize the best of my core tradition with inherent truths of others as well as fully embracing science and empiricism. Looking at all belief systems both as possibly literal and always possibly metaphorical opens up child-hood teachings with new insight and potential. I find I am a child of God, a child of Mother Nature, and as such carry the stuff of both in me. Read this and believe, no matter your path, not just for yourself, but all those in need of compassion around you.

Still the dawn of this new media

Watching a wonderful documentary on Shakespeare’s life and background with wife. The director of the Royal Shakespearean Theater says, more or less,

T.V. has been around for 50 years, a relatively new medium, new experience. Theater itself had only been around less than that 50 years when William was alive. Theater as a medium and concept was new, fresh, conveyed emotions still new to generations.

It got me to thinking that if 50 years seemed fresh to them, and still largely to us, what do virtual worlds hold in store for coming generations. At this 6th birthday of Second Life, really the first major virtual world experience involving, well, most of the world, it gives pause to consider.

Agile Tip: Blog Scrum Minutes with Actions, Use Comments

Agile Tip: Blog scrum minutes with actions only for the coming iteration (ours is 7 days) then while focused just on those action, without too much thought for what comes next, have the team leave comments in the blog related to accomplishing just those actions. Seems obvious and simple. (Isn’t that the definition of Agile?) Gives a great chronological log as well as provides insight to other teams facing same tasks.

I’ll have the, ummm, health care please.

I am in no way a health care consultant or professional, just a father trying to game the system as much as anyone.

Recently I went to New York with my wife. We enjoyed eating out. But there was one restaurant that just didn’t get it.

A meal to remember, and forget

We arrived at our reservation time but were told we needed to wait, but not for how long. “We’ll call you,” said maitre d’. We waited another 15 minutes before they sat us at a nice table next to some colorful New Yorkers celebrating a birthday party. I was sure I had seen two of them on T.V. before. We enjoyed people watching while waiting for our waitress.

“Are you two actors?” she asked.

We were new to that type of cuisine and seriously needed some expertise, so we asked the waitress for her recommendation. We figured the lack of prices on the menu just meant that it was a fancy restaurant and gave it no mind. We were confident we could pay. She was happy to give her recommendation and insisted it was the best for us. We took her advice.

We enjoyed our meal and paid with credit card. The waitress brought back the bill to sign for payment. It just had a spot for a signature, nothing more, no listing of items purchased, nor even a price. We signed trusting the price to be around $100 and left a $20 tip since the waitress was helpful.

We went to the theater and returned home. Days later we received several strange bills in the mail in separate envelopes from different people apparently:

• $5 for the waitress, noting the cost of recommendations, paid by card
• $10 for the bus boy, paid by card
• $10 for the maitre d’, paid by card
• $5 from some NY City restaurant association, unpaid, pending payment
• $500 meal for two from the cook, unpaid, first installment due

In all, $550 for restaurant services including the $20 waitress tip. The bill from the cook included 0% financing terms and a due date for our first $50 payment.

We were shocked. What kind of restaurant is this? How do they stay in business?

None of our frustrations or confusion did anything about the ridiculous bill. We had to deal with it or face collection agencies, or worse, a ding on our credit. We could pay but we were not going to just pay for this without understand first. We obviously wouldn’t have paid had we known the price in advance, even though we were very hungry and had made reservations. Then again we did eat and we did sign for payment. Something just wasn’t right, but who’s fault was it?

We decided to call the restaurant having already long returned home. After several calls back I was able to get the waitress on the phone, who normally never takes calls. After several attempts to explain the problem, it became apparent she did not see how this involved her since she was completely paid up.

“Sounds like you have an issue with the cook,” she said trying to be polite. She didn’t realize how ridiculous that sounded. She really did not understand that we should have had one bill, in advance, with everything listed before we agreed to dine. How could this not be obvious to her? It seemed as if this had been ingrained in her from years of doing it that way.

I tried to explain. “But don’t you see, we took your recommendation. Had we known your recommendation was going to cost almost $600 we would have considered something else, maybe even a different restaurant.”

“Well there’s no way I could have known it would cost that much. We generally don’t consider price in our recommendations. I’m sure you understand. At our restaurant thinking about price too much would affect the quality of our service and affect our ability to give customers what they really need. I’m sure you will agree often the customer does not know what they really need–especially when fine cuisine is involved.”

Her words infuriated me. Yes these elitists knew more about fine cuisine than me, but the decision was still mine. It was my money after all. I resented being made to feel a lesser person for bringing up cost, but $550? I don’t care how fine the cuisine or how hungry we were or how special an occasion, it was not worth $550 and Alicia and I did not want to pay it.

So I got the cook on the phone, spending most of a remaining vacation day doing so.

“What on Earth was in this meal to cost $500?” I asked.

“For that I can mail you an itemization of your dinner, would you like that? If so let me transfer you to …”

“NO!” I cut in, “Just tell me what was in the dinner that cost that much? You made it. Tell me. I don’t need another letter in the mail–especially since the first payment is apparently due in four days.”

“There is no need to raise your voice, sir. I see the problem, your waitress insisted on saffron and other expensive spices, quite tasty and, might I add, a great choice. Clearly the best.” His voice sounded like his head had taken a ponderous turn while he reflected on the recipe, ignoring me.

I broke in again. “Just curious, sounds like there’s a way to make that recipe without those fancy extras. Would that be correct?”

“Oh yes, yes, I make this at home all the time and have a wonderful substitute for those spices. Every bit as good but only the most discerning palette would know the difference.”

“Why didn’t you give us that version then?” I asked naively.

“Well, your waitress shows you insisted on the best.”

“WE DIDN’T! We didn’t, ” getting myself together. “We would like to have known about that option.”

“Well why didn’t you SAY you wanted the ‘budget’ option? We have customers all the time that tell us that. After all, we are a restaurant of fine-cuisine with a reputation to maintain, but we understand those on budgets. Indeed, without those on budgets eating here with the others we could not afford to keep the doors open and no one would enjoy our services.”

“So you are saying this is my fault because I didn’t ask for the ‘budget’ option? I didn’t know such a thing existed.”

“Well, you didn’t ask if it did or didn’t exist. You could have at least mentioned you were ‘on a budget’ to the waitress. She regularly responds to those words and adjusts her recommendations, even has a different menu. Also, I see you paid with credit card, which we assume means you have the money and are not ‘on a budget’. We usually ask people who pay cash if they would like the ‘budget’ version of the meal.”

“How does paying with credit imply I don’t want the budget option? Just because I have it doesn’t mean I want to use it to pay more.”

Feeling frustration and some self-critical depression settling in. I closed the call giving in to the fact that no amount of calling and ranting would fix all the misunderstanding, bad assumptions, and confusion that led to this ridiculously high bill and horribly bad memory. One thing is for sure, I will never eat at that restaurant again. And no matter what, I won’t eat or do anything until I have in writing how much it is going to cost me. I could care less what people think now.

So it wasn’t a restaurant, but why couldn’t it have been?

You may have figured out that not all of this really happened, not in a restaurant anyway.  In fact I had a great time in New York, it was coming back to a $896 ‘lab work’ bill,  and the real events following, that pushed this post out of me. Long before our vacation she went in feeling flu symptoms that persisted (like any box in the medicine cabinet suggests one should see a doctor about). The doctor visit cost $100. The lab work to “make sure something else isn’t going on” cost $1000 and we didn’t know that until the bill came. Calls to the doctors office and the hospital that did the lab work went just like the dialog of that bad restaurant story. It got us no where.

Restaurants really do understand service, customer, and reputation. Those that survive anyway. Why? Because they are one of the most direct examples of free trade and market economy. Only one person sits between the consumer and the producer. In stark contrast, centuries of bureaucracy, litigation, fear and politics have built one of the world’s most advanced, bloated and absurdly inefficient Health Care systems in the world. There are so many layers between producer and consumer, even though they often are in direct contact with one another, that the health care market is completely out of whack.

Beat the system, drop your health insurance

Recently a friend shared a story that provides an interesting insight into how to beat this incredibly screwed up health care system of ours. It boils down to one thing: drop your health insurance, completely. That’s right, don’t hang onto that glimmer of false security a high-deductible HSA seems to offer. Drop it all. Here’s why.

Insured and Uninsured

Of all those boxes and blanks on that form you dutifully fill out at the doctor’s office are mostly to answer, “Can you pay for this?” You might think this question is the same as “Are you insured or uninsured?” Guess what, it’s not, at least not as much anymore. A recent experience from a temporarily uninsured friend demonstrates this.

“Uninsured, O.K. I’ll drop bill 60%”

My middle-class, intelligent, married friend with three kids recently passed through a short stint of unemployment and found that by telling people he was uninsured that they surprisingly did not deny him or his family treatment, but instead knocked %60 off the bill and did everything directly, even providing 0% financing. It seems the not-so-secret secret is that the people doing the work, many of the individual doctors, optometrists, pharmacists, and some of the hospitals are already quite adept handling the non-insured, even catering to them as a growing part of their customer base. There are simply too many uninsured out there–many with plenty of money–that health types cannot simply turn them away because it would affect their bottom line.

By the way, we found out you can’t hold onto any insurance at all for this to work. We thought we’d try the middle of the road with a high-deductible HSA which worse. It prevents you from invoking whatever systems your health care people have set for helping the uninsured and also does next to nothing, in effect, to help you.

You are not a dead-beat for not having insurance

The waves of uninsured blowing in from all directions are breaking down the reef of a long-held stigma about them. Not having insurance does not mean ‘you suck’ (as in you suck everything you can from any welfare and government subsidies you can find).  In fact, choosing to not have insurance can demonstrate your intelligence and responsibility, not unlike savvy investors make conscious decisions to go with companies that have proven market value and attention to what the consumer wants. No one wants to spend money on a bad product, which is what health insurance has really become, like savings and loan investments and variable-rate mortgages.

You think health insurance has some value still?

Combine the ridiculous cost of even a high-deductible, company-subsidized HSA, with the general sleaze, unresponsiveness, and all-around foo-bared state of large, bureaucratic insurance companies and you start to see what a bad product health insurance is, despite the flood of advertising they spew to the contrary. Health insurance has no future.

The biggest health insurance clients, big companies, like IBM, are increasingly unable to make insurance workable for their employees as insurance companies struggle to contain the unchecked inflation for medical goods and services driven by the disconnection of such goods from the consumer. It is just a matter of time before corporate health care, like so many other company benefits (pensions, training, etc.) gets dropped as an employee entitlement and with it insurance company revenue–unless they figure out a way to sell directly to consumers instead of by way of their company.

More and more ‘free agents’ (see Pink’s, Free Agent Nation) are taking their chances on their own, 25% of all workers, going it without insurance and, according to Pink’s stats and conclusions, no visibility into the system designed from its roots to function in conjunction with employers under failing Organizational Man models.

Unless health insurance companies radically change they will fail as big and noisily as did Fanny Mae, GM, and the savings and loans long before them. Insurance companies seem to define the very oh-that-will-never-happen ideas and decisions behind such things as the credit default swaps, which tanked some of the biggest financial institutions in the world, and some might say governments. Yet their resources are being hurt by a failing economy while the number of claims increase as the fattest country in the world ages into needing that insurance.

Then there are the healthy people who are catching on to this mess and just taking their money and playing elsewhere. They save on their own, stay healthy, and thumb their nose at insurance companies. Ironically, these healthy people are the life blood of insurance companies, which suck that blood from them to pay for claims from the sick who too often got that way from years of irresponsible living. That blood is drying up.

Be prepared. Save it.

Get out now. Use that money for life and saving it someplace as safe as you can rather than throwing it away to insurance companies. That is the only way the market will respond enough, as it has already started to (see my friend’s case) to meet the needs of individuals.

Before you go lumping me with Michael Moore or any FUD-throwing doomsday prophet. Consider the very real circumstances of those around you, virtually and physically. Two of my friends come to mind, one was completely dropped from insurance after they discovered he had cancer, preferring to let him fight it out in court rather than pay for services he had been paying for. What did faithful insurance payment get him? Another dear friend, eventually lost his wife after of years battling insurance companies and hospitals and pharmacies for condition she faced which eventually bankrupted them and robbed that family of wife and mother. He has a remarkably positive outlook on life despite that painful experience. He did his best to make ends meet and played the insurance game. He maintains it did help, but I can’t help wondering what he could have done differently. Like the insurance companies infer in their advertising, this is the last thing you want, “we’ll be there” blah, blah. I say, show them the money. Insurance IS fraud.

Here’s the horrible reality, if something big happens to you, you are likely going to go bankrupt anyway. No modern insurance company is going to cover you enough, because they themselves are failing. Don’t let that scare you. Take control, get fit, prepare, and promote the doctor-patient economy we need to get people well. The sooner you start building your own personal health savings, the more prepared you will be if and when something big hits. We don’t need no stinking insurance companies.

The Benefits of Distraction and Overstim …

The Benefits of Distraction and Overstimulation:

The brains of Buddhist monks asked to meditate on “unconditional loving-kindness and compassion” show instant and remarkable changes: Their left prefrontal cortices (responsible for positive emotions) go into overdrive, they produce gamma waves 30 times more powerful than novice meditators, and their wave activity is coordinated in a way often seen in patients under anesthesia.

Ooo, here’s another good one:

This sort of free-associative wandering is essential to the creative process; one moment of judicious unmindfulness can inspire thousands of hours of mindfulness.

Which just goes to show that Daniel H. Pink might be on to something in his book A Whole New Mind, Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, which I find interesting being overly left-brained but constantly working on developing the other part.

Posted a worksheet for the P90x energy b …

Posted a worksheet for the P90x energy booster phase, level 2 (2400 calories) with the portion menu so I can print it out on the road. I’ve also been adding menu items that seem to match the others and work for me.

Mother’s Day Talk

You can’t really talk about mothers without talking about Helaman’s 2000 stripling warriors and their mothers (Alma 56:45-47):

• City of Ammon under attack
• Antipus facing defeat
• Fathers committed to no battle
• Sons step up and volunteer.

And now I say unto you, my beloved brother Moroni, that never had I seen so great courage, nay, not amongst all the Nephites. For as I had ever called them my sons (for they were all of them very young) even so they said unto me: Father, behold our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth; we would not slay our brethren if they would let us alone; therefore let us go, lest they should overpower the army of Antipus. Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

What was there special skill?

They “did not doubt their mothers knew it” — “they did not doubt, God would deliver them.”

How did they come by so much faith?

• Why would teenage young men, (which, by the way, is the definition of ’stripling’ case you didn’t know), listen to their moms
• Did these warriors take out the trash, mow lawns, do dishes, fetched water, and cleaned their floor mats (or where ever they hung out)?

We can imply the answer …

• Father’s kept commitment in life and in the home
• Sons taught at home
• Sons grew up with boundaries and discipline
• Parents loved sons, sons loved parent (enough to die for them)

By the way, do you see how these young men treated Helaman? Father = ‘old man’

No super-natural intervention by Heavenly Father in that battle?

• Difference between a good soldier and a great one: obedience, discipline, even faith, which all started with Mom
• Sons already prepared to give full attention and obedience to Helaman
• Mothers taught them faith, obedience, discipline, respect, and love

Mothers certainly don’t always have the influence they would like on their children. Let’s look at Sariah, mother to Nephi, Sam, Jacob as well as Laman and Lemuel.

But, in general, mother’s have a huge influence, even shape the world.

Thomas S. Monson shares a story about how even the memory of Mom causes ‘men [to] turn from evil and yield to their better natures’:

A famed officer from the Civil War period, Colonel Higginson, when asked to name the incident of the Civil War that he considered the most remarkable for bravery, said that there was in his regiment a man whom everybody liked, a man who was brave and noble, who was pure in his daily life, absolutely free from dissipations in which most of the other men indulged.

One night at a champagne supper, when many were becoming intoxicated, someone in jest called for a toast from this young man. Colonel Higginson said that he arose, pale but with perfect self-control, and declared: “Gentlemen, I will give you a toast which you may drink as you will, but which I will drink in water. The toast that I have to give is, ‘Our mothers.’ ”

Instantly a strange spell seemed to come over all the tipsy men. They drank the toast in silence. There was no more laughter, no more song, and one by one they left the room. The lamp of memory had begun to burn, and the name of Mother touched

Mom’s often don’t feel loved or appreciated–especially young mother’s and older ones.

In February 1839, a kind neighbor helped Emma Smith place her four children and her few belongings into a wagon lined with straw. When their party came to the frozen Mississippi River, Emma walked across the ice with her children, carrying the manuscripts of the Prophet’s Bible translation in two cloth bags tied around her waist under her skirt. She and many other destitute Saints took refuge in the community of Quincy, Illinois, where they continued to suffer from hunger, cold, and sickness, though these sufferings were alleviated by many acts of kindness from a caring community.

Although the Prophet Joseph yearned to help the Saints, he could do little but pray and give direction through letters to Brigham Young and the other brethren who were leading the Saints in his absence. In these desperate circumstances, he wrote words of encouragement and peace to Church members: “Dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed” (D&C 123:17).

• Emma was and is a complex, intelligent, caring, amazing woman and mother that I really want to meet one day
• Feel their contribution is not valued
• Easy trap to fall in, both for mothers and their children
• World makes it worse “If you don’t make money you don’t matter.”
• Church messages (often men) saying, “You have eternal worth. You are a daughter of God. God loves you.”
• Somehow sometimes messages don’t seem to sink in. Why is that? Maybe because actions are louder than words.

Moms rarely need to hear more about what their ‘role’ is–especially when they are struggling with young children while their husbands are away on church work or working for financial stability and they watch other women, often their peers, progressing in their professional careers. In those times, moms particularly need help, thanks, company, appreciation, and cash if not just time away from the demands on them.

Motherhood is not limited to those who have given birth. My Aunt Nona was one such Mother.  (Read the Forward to Nona is Another Name for Love)

Christ showed compassion for one widow mother the day after the Jesus healed the Centurion he visited a her in Nain:

And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, “Weep not.” …  And he said, “Young man, I say unto thee, Arise. And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak. And he delivered him to his mother. (Luke 7:11-15)

Although we priesthood brethren will perhaps not be called on to raise the son of a widow in the ward, we do have many opportunities to care for them as the Savior did.

One of the greatest directives about tending to the needs of Mothers comes from Christ on the cross (John 19:25-27):

Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his amother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the adisciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.

Savior gave the remedy: ‘take them into our own homes‘

• Every situation, every mother is different
• Isolation and loneliness breed feelings of uselessness, lack of self-worth, and depression (a big problem in the church and elsewhere)
• Seek to make connection with, and help Mom make connections with others
• ‘take into our home’ =
  • sometimes literally taking them into our homes
  • letting them be a part of our lives (letters, email, facebook)
  • make sure their needs are met, no matter what the age (over-stressed young moms)
  • honor our mothers (we don’t have to agree, but should always honor and treat them with respect)
• Love them unconditionally (old-fashioned, tactless, bad singers/dancers, silly, embarassing, etc.)

“Taking Mom into our homes” shows them that we love and appreciate them. But even so, every Mom receives love differently.

Do you know your Mom’s ‘love language’?

• Sounds like a Barry White album, “the language of luuuuv”, I know
• Research and Jesus’ life show that people receive love differently, some suggest:
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch
• You might have a family home evening focused on finding out how Mom receives the most love

Some ideas about what you can do for Mom:

• Give her sleep, or help her sleep, including the peace of mind so she can [refer to sleep study]
• Write her a letter [share how writing letters has been way to bridge distance gap]

In conclusion, Mom’s, if you come away with just one thought, don’t let it be:

I stink. I’m such a bad mom compared to everyone else.

Instead make it:

Humm, I am a good mom doing something worth while. I might even be appreciated, but we’ll see.

It really is up to all of us to show mom she is loved and appreciated, to find her ‘love language,’ learn it, and speak it too her regularly. Let’s add a renewed promise to do this to the special flowers, plants, letters, cards, phone calls, and visits we’ll give mom today.

A Mother’s Sleep

Eyes, soft swept now closing, free,
Find peace from days duress;
Solace on night’s pillow now
To comfort Mother’s stress.
Days on end she toils true
Fighting back the pain
Of lifetimes traded up and down
To give her children Names.
No thought for self, at least not heard,
She teaches them from birth
To follow gentle paths less trod,
Make good their time on Earth.
I marvel at my luck divine
To find her _here_ somehow,
And know she sleeps without a care
At least, I trust, for now.
Sleep, peaceful beauty given
From God’s own throne above
To us, to have, to hold, to trust
And answer, “What is love?”

This write up about internet addiction h …

This write up about internet addiction has some very valid, very interesting points in it–for everyone, moms and dads. It both explains the obvious benefits of social connection the internet affords more now than ever, while outlining the dangers of ‘escapism’ which I certainly have done and seen others do.

Disney World cleared my head a bit. Going back to making nightly 5:30-9:00 PM ’sacred’ time again. No screens of any kind unless I am sitting one foot from my child or wife. (We love watching Penguins of Madagascar.) Also, no screens from 11:00-3:00 Saturdays.

Generally I have been following this self-imposed rule for some time. But the weeks leading up to Disney World had me breaking it more than usual.